A Rainy Night In Brno

Week 19: FC Zbrojovka Brno 0 - 1 SK Slavia Praha

For the second time in two weeks, there's a weekday game. This time, it's more sensibly scheduled for a Friday night. Monday night football may work for the coach potato neutral, but everybody gets down on Friday.

The good news is, I can catch a bus near enough to the office straight to the football stadium. The bad news is, it's intended to shuttle drunk hockey fans to the stadium and keep them out of bother elsewhere. This is my second time making use of this novel, police escorted service.

We arrive safely, however some tool outside the stadium drops a firework directly next to the bus. I'm first out, and thankfully get away with nothing more than a ringing in the ears. Does this count as banter?

Tonight's opponents are SK Slavia Praha. It's fair to say that they're the second most well-known team in the league, and actually have a slightly larger (capacity) stadium than Sparta. They won the league as recently as 2009, but have since been in the doldrums and equally out-of-form this season as Zbrojovka. Tonight's game should be winnable for the good guys.

The self-proclaimed intelligentsia. 

They've also re-acquired Derek Riordan's best mate. Rudi Skacel (pronounced Skaaatsel, as opposed to Skatchel, as oft heard on UK TV). Unfortunately not in the squad for this game, probably since it's not a Scottish Cup tie.

Slavia, then. A pretty good away turnout, considering the kick-off time meant that anyone travelling from the capital

would need to finish work early. It also humours me to see an ultras flag emblazoned with 'SLAVIA INTELLECTUALS'. Okay, then.

I'm forced out of my usual location to seats closer to the away section and the south stand. I'm a little bit closer to the pitch, and I'm appreciating the game more as I am by myself. I'm noticing that the Slavia left-back and left midfield work well in tandem together, and I see that the centre backs of both teams possess pretty good ball control.

Friday Night Lights

Despite a pretty unremarkable game with few chances, Slavia take the lead (and ultimately win 0-1) after the Brno goalkeeper fumbles a tepid, wayward shot into his own net. It's an absolute gift, and incredibly frustrating for the 4100 witnesses.

Yet another tame loss for Brno. Sadly, one of the more memorable moments occurs when the North stand ultras release a huge firework next to a fancy Mercedes within the ground. The sound is ear-shattering, and the smoke rises above the stands. They certainly generate atmosphere, but sometimes....

Spring is Brewing

Winter. Long, cold, dark, and in the telling absence of local football, boring. Thankfully, the re-emergence of the football season after a three month hibernation officially marks the beginning of spring. Well, not officially.

In some ways, the winter break was a welcome hiatus from a run of four defeats in five. Things were looking promising in the middle of October; two home wins and an away draw at Olomouc ensured a healthy, better-than-expected league position. However a torrid run of form saw Zbrojovka plummet from fourth in the league to mid-table. Still, a better position than one might otherwise expect for a team that scrapped into the top flight.

Matchday Programme for the Czech literati

Today, we welcome FK Viktoria Plzen to Stadion Srbska. The football club are famous in their own right, having won the league two seasons earlier, and entered the group stage of the Champions League 2011/2012, accompanied by Barcelona and AC Milan and gave a fair account of themselves. What should not be overlooked is that Plzen had to play their homes games in Slavia's Prague's stadium, which is an hour away. More recently, they humped Napoli 5-0 on aggregate in the Europa League.

Plzen is otherwise famous for beer; being the home of Pilsner Urquell - a mighty fine beer. It's quite a trek from Brno, but definitely on my 'to do' list. And today we'll start with beer - well, after the pre-game drinks. There's been a few changes following the football barren winter. The signage at the stadium has been updated, and there's a range of merchandise to mark the centenary of what was to become Zbrojovka. The beer has also gone up to 70 Kc!

Action shot; it's clipped onto my jacket pocket.

Although my sensibilities were momentarily offended, rest assured there is a non-greedy corporate explanation. In an attempt to keep littering down (from plastic cups), the team has introduced these recyclable beer cups, produced by www.nicknack.cz. It's a 40 Kc deposit, and it has a funky clip so that you can hang your drink on a pocket while you applaud the footballing masterclass in front of you.

Now, onto the football. As life sometimes dictates, one of the best games of the season, coinciding with the winter break just so happens to be moved to Monday evening, just to savour the anticipation that little bit longer. There were 6224 other tortured souls ending the wait.

I had watched Plzen on TV once this season, and they completely outclassed Sigma Olomouc. That said, Zbrojovka recorded an impressive win in Plzen in the second week of the season. The winter break in itself can be unpredictable. Plzen did overcome Napoli without any competitive match practice, and in the last campaign Brno only lost one game in the latter half.

Brno took an early lead, with the ball falling to the edge of the area and the number eight managing to force it through a pack of bodies. Plzen equalised before half-time, and ended up winning 3-1. Truth be told, slightly disappointed with the football on show today, but I am so glad that the show now goes on.

Post-match shenanigans. Or Yahoo-ery.

There can be only one, Jihlava.

Week 8: FC Zbrojovka 5 - 1 FC Vysocina Jihlava

Back to rountine. No roadtrips, no stories out of the ordinary to tell. Back to plain old Gambrinus Liga heavyweight clashes. Meanwhile, in Brno, FC Vysocina Jihlava are welcomed to town.

These boys ride in style.

My level of expectation this week is cautionary; I know little of Jihlava and less of the football team. The name seemingly translates to FC Highlands Jihlava, and they share the honour of being Brno's fellow promotee from last season, only they managed to do so on merit having finished second.

While I away in Olomouc, Zbrojovka's fortune in Hradec Kralove was less than favourable. An insipid 2-0 loss the previous week dictates that there needs to be a strong showing; a return to form against a beatable team.

It's September still. The weather allows excitement to permeate through the stands. A good showing this week - 5500+ - and the expectation is set. A must win.

A canvas upon which to thrive.

Four - One, and a fire engine

I don't recall so much of the game. Brno took comfortable control of the game early on, and did look back. It was a commanding performance; Jihlava were dispatched with ease. A shame, as they brought a strong following but seemingly left their game plan (and maybe a player or two) on the team bus.

I have seem to have my own seat in the stadium; high in section L above the half-way line. I'm also starting to become known to the locals sitting around me. It has nothing to do with irreverent singing. Nothing. Nic.

My last tid-bit is about the stadium grub. Klobasa, a huge sausage, is served with bread, mustard and ketchup. Oh-so-simple, but oh-so-good. The perfect accompaniment for football. And beer. Or just beer. This is very popular here at all sporting and social events.

Hollow Moats

Week 7: SK Sigma Olomouc 3 - 0 FC Slovan Liberec

See what I did there?

After a lengthy international break, which saw Kazakhstan schooled in the art of robbery, and with Zbrojovka away in Bohemia this weekend, my itchy feet directed me to Olomouc.

Olomouc Town Hall

Simply put, Olomouc is an awesome town. There's a vibe, there's a lot of history and it just clicks. It has everything bar the suffocating amount of tourists. This is my second trip here - and my second trip to watch football. Last time saw copious amounts of riot police, and Sigma dispatch of FC Banik Ostrava three-nil with nonchalant ease. That said, the most memorable part of this day was the support of the Banik fans. Away fans are just not the done thing here: Banik are the exception to this rule. They fill out the away section wherever they go, and the riot police kindly follow them.
There is a proud footballing history in Olomouc - no, really. Sigma put eight past Aberdeen over two-legs three seasons ago, and this ground witnessed the international debut of both Robbie Keane and Damien Duff.

Sigma Olomouc were not the draw this time. FC Slovan Liberec are the reigning champions of the Czech league - consistent last season but their indifference this campaign has seen them dumped out of the Champions League in qualifying and showing unremarkable progress in the league so far.




The stadium in Olomouc is a vast improvement on the Brno equivalent. There's no running track, and the difference in atmosphere and intensity is tangible - one is literally closer to the action. There's a greater involvement from the supporters, and the noise level reaches higher than any other ground I've been to in this country.

However, there's also a considerable 'Ultras' section in Olomouc orchestrated by a rotund diehard geared out in a kit emblazoned with the number 12. This works,and it boosts the sentiment within the stadium. This is their team, and one really ought to know this.

I'm not convinced this is cheaper than buying a ticket.

As far as the game went, it was a totally one-sided affair. Sigma completely outclassed Liberec who has little in the way of flair or invention. Seemingly, they have sold off a lot of their title winning side and have no intention of repeating the feat this season. Sigma though, look like they're good for their status as early season league leaders. This could all come undone in two weeks when Zbrojovka come into town. Oh, we can hope.

So good we're on the tele!

Week 6: FC Zbrojovka 3 - 1 SK Dynamo Ceske Budejovice

One might say the wheels are coming off. Following last week's abject display, the mighty men of FC Zbrojovka marched into Prague and got turned over 5-0. To Slavia Prague. Admittedly, not the worst team from Prague in the division, but they're not far off. A woeful result.

Two poor results on the spin - along with a disappointing draw in the first home game versus Teplice - and the media vultures are out in force. The Prague-orientated television channels sense pending catastrophe and hospitably opt to broadcast this game. Given that I've lived here for 18 months and knew nothing of Ceske Budejovice, I should set the tone.

Their recent form is worse than Brno's. They probably could consider that an achievement. Losing at home to Banik Ostrava and Liberec, coupled with a beating 3-1 at the hands of Sparta Prague - and the referee, probably - they are in equally dire straits.

And yet, this game is moved to a 3:15 Saturday afternoon kick-off, which is a bit of a novelty by local standards. A few drinks before the game in our new haunt - the bar in the corner with the free-to-view terrace and we're ready for kick-off.

Grey. Overcast. Misery.

The first thing that stands out is the attendance, and lack thereof. Not a single away fan made the trip. Why not? Well, I think a few things. The weather was foreboding, the game was on TV, and they are a bit of a rubbish team to follow. It doesn't stop them going one-nil up after a stint of botched defending.

There's officially 2222 people here. It feels much less; closer to 1000. I'm interested to find out whether this is to do with the game being televised - given the cost of a match ticket (90Kc)  I doubt that - or whether Czechs just don't do football on Saturdays. There is also the likelihood that the 'new season' of goodwill has ended abruptly.

More grey. More overcast. More misery. Zero away fans. 

Thankfully, Brno rectify things and win the game 3-1. Not the best game to have witnessed, but a welcomed return to form.

Onwards, Zbrojovkans

Week 4: FC Zbrojovka 1 - 4 Jablonec

Football. The smell of grass. Screeching turnstiles. The hussle and bussle of the crowd. Anticipation.

One cup for beer, one cup... just in case.

Now back in the swings of things. Fourth game of the season and Brno are perched a comfortable third in the season following an impressive 3-2 away at Plzen - which is comparable to someone like Stoke winning at the Emirates. Jablonec, however, currently sit top of the table. A mammoth clash; scenes not seen in this town since Oliver Stone's Alexander was shown in the cinema. And, as with the movie, there was more than one bad performance here today.

At this level, and given my short attention span, I find it hard to pick out a stand-out player week in, week out. There's always the player that stands out due to their boot colour, their physique, their mullet. Yes, they draw attention to themselves. If one is just not a good player, leave the white boots at home. See Konchesky, Paul as a recent example.The only standout performance I've seen in this part of the world was by Aldo Baez, a diminutive Argentine playing  for AS Trencin in the Slovak Corgon Liga. He was dark-skinned, five foot seven and wore Tim Henman boots. Damn good player, though.

My camera lasted one picture. Didn't quite have time to capture anything else.

At this level, and given my short attention span, I find it hard to pick out a stand-out player week in, week out. There's always the player that stands out due to their boot colour, their physique, their mullet. Yes, they draw attention to themselves. If one is just not a good player, leave the white boots at home. See Konchesky, Paul as a recent example.The only standout performance I've seen in this part of the world was by Aldo Baez, a diminutive Argentine playing  for AS Trencin in the Slovak Corgon Liga. He was dark-skinned, five foot seven and wore Tim Henman boots. Damn good player, though.

Today, though, one of my buddies is picking up on the abject woefulness of the Zbrojovka left-back. Thoroughly rotten. I hadn't noticed. I think it is David Pasek; I'm pretty sure it's the number three but I'm not too focused. I'll make a note for next time. I think the whole team has been shocking. It went from beating Plzen away, to this. This is a humbling. I don't think Jablonec were particularly remarkable, but Zbrojovka lacked everything today. On the positive side, 6200 fans turned up today and the matchday staff coped much, much better. Minimal queues, plenty of staff. On the downside, a lot of those fans won't come back following the on-pitch efforts.

Super Kick-Off

New Season - FC Zbrojovka 1 - 1 FK Teplice

All journeys start somewhere. I didn't steal that from Terminator 2. Sarah Connor isn't a philosopher; that's why she's in the nuthouse. This journey may (or may not) take me across the Czech Republic; hoping to see what the season holds for my new local team, FC Zbrojovka Brno - or Arsenal Brno FC, as a rough translation. I will touch on the numerous similarities later.

As a mini background, Zbrojovka finished fourth in the Czech second division last year, but scored promotion due to two of the top three teams failing to meet the high standards of Czech first division stadia regulation. The boys from Brno found themselves promoted, and once again mixing it with the likes of Banik Ostrava, Sparta Prague and Viktoria Plzen come August 5th.

And came August 5th. A scorching day in the Kralove Pole part of town; home of the last bastion of Moravian footballing excellence - Stadion Srbska. Marvel, you must. Having entertained crowds of 600-700 for most of last season - a season marked by a sluggish start followed by a 15(ish) game unbeaten streak - no one was prepared for the 5700 faithful that turned up to welcome FK Teplice to town.

And the lack of preparedness was the main talking point of this game. Hour long queues for beer (and klobasa); drunk hooligans sporting Millwall garb, people pushing up and down stairways for 90 minutes. All part of the education.

The freeloaders get the best view.

See here? There's a bar in the background with a balcony with a view over the pitch. A select 'club' in more ways than one.

Desperately short-staffed - dogs doubling up as stewards to tame the masses. 

All-in-all, an eventful day at the football. The game finished one each (with Teplice taking the lead before half-time, forcing Brno to come back all guns blazing). This may or may not have happened; I had to wait in line for beer [pivo] in 30 degrees for over an hour. It's good to have football back.